Do you often make a split-second opinion about people? When people have a natural instinct to judge quickly and apply labels on people by pointing out their flaws, they tend to make incorrect judgments, without realizing their own errors and working on themselves. They define worth to everyone they meet, with an urge to always be right and superior.
Is it not common to judge people’s behavior by appearance, without knowing the person? Because people have different mindsets, cultures, habits, and perceptions, it is not so easy to realize one’s nature by merely looking at the outer appearance.
Have you formed your opinion about people, by looking at their hairstyle, skin tone, or clothing style? Such opinions often result in regrets later in life, as you get to know people better and your opinion changes.
“When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself.” ~ Earl Nightingale
The lens with which you look at people could be right or wrong, as it depends on your perception which is based on your own rules to accept or reject people and not on what people are. Although it is essential for our safety, to have the ability to judge if it is safe to be around certain people or environments, making it a habit to frequently judge people leads to misunderstandings and problems.
Measuring people with your own standards and using the same yardstick for all, could keep you in darkness, withholding the ability to see the good in others.
How not to judge?
Hasty judging is easy and doesn’t require much reasoning. But to understand and know better, one needs patience, an open mind, and thinking, which isn’t easy for all as it takes effort and self-reflection to develop such an attitude. Here are some tips to avoid making hasty judgments and trying to know people or situations better.
1.Stop and think
With an instinct to judge and form opinions instantly, we miss being mindful in our daily lives. When you have an urge to judge, calm down and take time to think. Thinking in different angles is essential at times and helps in lowering your anxiety, helping you make better decisions.
As you stop being judgmental, it becomes possible for you to look beyond the right and wrong. This enables you to understand what you’re doing and what you shouldn’t be doing. You can’t draw a conclusion unless you know whole picture. It would be better to think carefully and choose your words wisely, to avoid worsening any situation of conflict.
2. Getting curious
Withholding judgment and shifting it to curiosity helps one overcome being judgmental in every day life. Most of our judgments are our assumptions which may or may not be the reality. Being curious about what’s going on and why people do what you never expected, can help you with helpful insights into the root cause of a situation.
Acceptance
Trying to change a person or expecting a lot from people can lead one into frustration. Accepting people for who they are and knowing how to handle situations without getting overwhelmed helps you navigate better through life without an urge to judge the world around you.
The only person you can really change is yourself and not anyone else. Acceptance doesn’t mean you can’t have your opinion or choice. There could be differences at times and maintaining healthy boundaries, checking your emotions and maintaining a healthy connection is essential for a peaceful life, which is possible with acceptance.
Do you think it’s necessary to work on ourselves rather than judging others often? Do share in comments.