People with excessive self-centeredness or toxic self-absorption tend to be overly focused on their emotions, experiences and well-being, which could be detrimental to their relationships and quality of life.
Self-absorbed individuals don’t show much concern towards anything outside their self-interest.
While achieving valuable personal insight through self-reflection is essential for a purpose driven life, being absorbed in oneself due to self-centeredness causes one to fail treating others with maturity and dignity.
Signs of Self-Absorption
Usually people with overly attuned self-centeredness make everything about themselves and are not realistic often.
Knowing the signs of self-absorption could help you deal appropriately with such behavior.
As we keep learning and unlearning along the path of life, it’s possible that we learn self-absorbed nature through certain influences we encounter.
These 5 common signs when reflected upon can help us understand ourselves and others better and help us bring about a positive change.
Monopolizing conversations
Have you seen people not willing to share conversational space, shifting the focus of every conversation towards themselves?
They could be unaware of how their behavior impacts others, which leads them into ignoring the perspective of those around them.
Healthy and productive conversations require exchange of thoughts, ideas and experiences, making them balanced and inclusive.
Monopolized conversations are unbalanced and focused on the opinions, experiences and ideas of one person, which may unintentionally offend others over time.
Constant comparison
Focusing immensely on personal desires and needs, self-absorbed individuals seek constant comparison to others to feel better about themselves and gauge their perceived worth and status.
Their difficulty in appreciating the world around them makes it difficult for them to connect with people without comparison or judgement.
These comparisons influence their behavior and attitudes, leading to a wavering conscience of what is right and wrong, depending on their emotions in the moment.
Practicing gratitude and taking time to arrive at informed decisions in life could greatly help in staying away from seeking external validation.
Inconsistent demands
Incapable of sticking to a desire, individuals with self-absorption are inconsistent with their demands.
Their mind changes according to their emotional state, due to which they engage in justifying these demands and influencing others emotionally.
Hyper-focus on one’s feelings and experiences leads a person to lack attention to others, eventually ending in conflicts due to unrealistic demands.
Taking time to recenter one’s focus and finding mindful ways to deal with one’s emotional state could help overcome such attitude.
Here are some tips to practice mindfulness and find balance in life : Mindfulness in everyday life.
The victim
Although struggles are common the world and not everyone has the same struggles, individuals with self-absorption have a tendency to blame others for their misfortunes.
They perceive the world as unkind and unfair, showing victim mentality more often, which attracts sympathy and attention.
Taking accountability, practicing self-reflection and taking courage to make better decisions in life are some ways to overcome such tendency and develop self-confidence.
Response to feedback
It’s likely that a person lacking self-reflection won’t take feedback seriously, leading to non-acceptance of responsibility for his/her behavior.
Getting defensive and disregarding feedback or constructive criticism is the common attitude in people with self-absorption, resulting in an inability to work towards a positive change.
There are no perfect people. Embracing our imperfections and accepting feedback for a positive change is essential to build better connections and live a fulfilling life free from self-absorption.
As we drift through life, there could be times when we fail to be mindful of our behavior. How do you think we can avoid becoming self-absorbed?
This Post Has 2 Comments
My former best friend belongs in this category. She wants everyone to pity her just because of her bad childhood. But she never wants to give and take with people. That’s the reason why unfriend her. She was too toxic for me. Just sharing my story.
Thank you for sharing your story.
When one fails to reflect upon and work on one’s difficult behaviour, it affects the relationship negatively.